I get emails all the time from women who are craving and seeking new friends, or what is sometimes referred to as, ‘a tribe’. They are feeling isolated and desperately wanting to meet and make new like minded friends.
“I’m new to Brisbane and really want to connect with some like-minded babes”.
“I feel isolated. I’ve grown apart from my old friends”.
“I feel so alone on this biz journey. No-one gets me. I’m craving understanding and support”.
I hear you honey. I too, have been there.
That place where you feel like you’re talking a different language. Or that everyone else is talking a different language.
That place where your decisions and actions are met with furrowed brows, judgements and question marks.
That place where the ‘old you’ feels outdated and incongruent with your ‘new self’ – new interests, beliefs, values, lifestyle and all.
That place where you feel like you’re the only one experiencing a particular life transition (starting a business; being single at 35; living in a new city; being a new Mum; going through a divorce; packing it all up and travelling).
And this feels f!cking scary.
I think one of the most important things in life is to have nurturing and supportive connections. To have a ‘tribe’.
I have many tribes – my emotional support tribe; my we’ve-known-eachother-forever-and-know-eachothers-darkness-but-still-love-eachother tribe; my biz tribe (which has been SO imperative to my wellbeing over the past 4 years); my spiritual tribe; my let's-get-occassionally-boozed tribe.
Each of them serve a different purpose in my life. And all of them I need.
So let’s talk about you honey … what kind of tribe folk are you seeking at the moment?
Many women who visit this space are generally craving two types of tribes:
- women, generally, who are interested in healthy and open hearted living and
- women in heart centered business.
Whichever group you fit in to, the formula is still the same.
And here my love, is the formula:
- Get to know yourself! It sounds crazy but this truly is the imperative first step you need to take in order to attract the kind of high quality and like minded people to your life that you’re seeking. Quite simply – if you don’t know who you are, what you’re passionate about and the kind of people you want to be surrounding yourself with – you won’t be able to find them. If your relationship with yourself is lacking then enjoy experimenting and being curious. Try new things! Be adventurous (whatever that means to you!) Once you know what lights you up and do more of it, you’ll find your tribe. Guaranteed.
- Put yourself out there. No-one ever met anyone by sitting in their home simply wishing for a friend (or a romantic partner/opportunity/smaller waistline/etc.) to knock on their door. Yes, intention setting and manifestation practices are great, but they don’t mean sh!t if you’re not actually going to be proactive in bringing your dreams and desires to life!
- Keep trying. You will get shut down – it’s just the reality of the situation and there’s absolutely no shame in it. Gone are the days where it’s weird to reach out to strangers and ask if they want to meet for a coffee. In fact, it’s one of the BEAUTIFUL gifts that technology has given us. Just because someone turns you down has nothing to to do with you – people are just busy and have their own lives and responsibilities. Simply keep trying and I promise you’ll meet the person/people you’re meant to
- Go to events! Just the other week I was chatting to someone who came to an event of mine – she told me that her and a fellow attendee had become besties! How cool is that! Keep going to the places where like-minded people are hanging out and you’re bound to make some great connections in time
- On the topic of events, get out of your comfort zone and talk to people! You’re not going to find your tribe by sitting in the corner not making eye contact with anyone. I know it’s scary, but it’s amazing how far a smile and a ‘HI!’ will get you!
- Follow up! Yes it’s all good and well to meet someone you connect with but it takes time and energy to build an actual friendship. If you meet someone at (an event or elsewhere) that you think is kinda cool, follow up with them afterwards (aah, the magic that is social media)! Be proactive in building a relationship (with lots of people) and you’ll see connections bloom in time. You can read about my experience of that here.
- Be patient. Like I said above, some people won’t want to be your buddy and relationships do take time to grow so be patient my love.