Regardless of the genitalia we are born with, each of us have complimentary masculine and feminine energies coursing through us.
When balanced, our masculine energy helps us to think logically, plan, structure, 'do' and decide. When imbalanced, our masculine energy can lead us to be impulsive, competitive, force and control things and not take care of ourselves.
When balanced, our feminine energy can help us to be intuitive, creative, open (with our emotions and in our mind), surrendered and accepting. When imbalanced, our feminine energy can lead us to be inefficient, unproductive, attached to our emotions, unable to plan and be strategic and self sacrificing.
For many years, I adopted a very masculine approach to business and life.
I was a 'doer' who loved lists. I gave little regard to my energy, menstrual cycle, emotions and what was going on in my life more generally. I was often in a hurry and my calendar was always jam packed. 'I-have-shit-to-do-and-ain't-nothing-getting-in-my-way' was the mentality by which I lived my life.
My experimentation with adopting a more feminine way of Being, began in my personal life (before later filtering into my business) when I spent nine months living and working at a yoga and meditation school in Mexico in 2015/2016. Although I'd dabbled in meditation for many years prior to this, my time at the school intensified my practice and led me to sit three, 10 day silent retreats where we would meditate for around 10 hours per day. These experiences taught me the beauty of slowing down - the inner peace it gifts you, the clarity it bestows upon you and the beautiful way it shifts the way you look at the world.
In the past, I thought that productivity equalled DOING. I struggled to understand how slowing down would benefit the progress and expansion of my life and business. I thought a calmer mind meant a slower mind (when in fact it actually gifts us focus and creativity!) and that being connected with my emotions meant less determination and productivity.
Of course, once you have experiences that challenge thoughts and ways of Being like this, it's impossible to go back to 'doing life' in the same way you had previously. For me, this meant a tonne of change in many areas of my life.
Here's how I began to embrace life and business with a more feminine energy ...
I refused to ever go back to working in a 'normal' day job. I'd spent nine years working as a Social Worker prior to my trip, and never loved it. I craved more alignment. More freedom. More creativity. I craved less hustle. Less targets. Less structure.
I built a business that gifted me the flexibility I need to thrive. One that allows me to start work early/late depending on how my energy is feeling on a particular day. One that allows me to schedule my calendar around my bleed. One that allows me to travel mid week and still earn money.
I started scheduling monthly, 90 minute massages into my calendar - DURING THE WORK DAY! #becauseIdeserveit
I started saying 'no'. The 'old Che' had a calendar that was constantly filled with social obligations. I felt rude turning people's offers down, but what I began to realise, was that it was actually ruder to show up and not gift that person 100% of my energy and presence. I also learned that saying 'yes' when I didn't want to was a blatant disrespect of Self.
I also started saying 'no' to jobs I didn't want to do. Jobs that didn't light me up but that I'd felt pressured to take on in the past out of obligation and fear.
I started to prioritise things that nourish me - like walks in the sunshine; meditation in bed; slow mornings; warm cacaos; time spent with people who offer me deep and colourful conversations; new experiences ... aaaaaaaaaahhh.
I got to know my emotions more intimately and learned to respond, rather than react to people, conversations, and to life generally. I learned to step back from situations and look at them objectively. I stopped taking things personally.
I learned to fall in love with the unknown (okay, okay, it's a constant challenge - haha). To stop feeling the need to have the perceived safety net that comes with having a plan. To invite more flow and spontaneity into my life.
This has been a huge journey for me, and one I know will be never ending.
What I've found most useful is to take one day at a time and to make one change at a time.
To always stop and celebrate my progress, and to be kind to myself when I look at all the growth that is yet to come (because there always will be honey! And thank goodness too, because otherwise life would get really freakin' boring!) What I know for sure is this - since adopting a more feminine approach to life, I've experienced more stable happiness and contentment than ever before. And for me, that's what life is all about.