GROWING YOUR BUSINESS WITH GRACE - my thoughts, observations and ponderings
I want to start by saying that this is not a ‘how to’ article. My gawd, there’s enough ‘how to grow/scale your business’ posts, programs and workshops out there. Let me not contribute to the noise.
What this is, is a collection of my own thoughts, observations and ponderings about something that all biz owners seem to chase (biz growth), but that very few seem to do with grace (in my personal opinion).
It’s normal to want to grow our businesses. In fact, I think it’s a fun and creative thing to do! But the unfortunate fact of the matter is that in this digital age, our concept of growth and success is often skewed, and the pressure we put on ourselves to ‘succeed’ is often unkind and fuelled by an unhealthy toxic masculine energy.
As well as this, I often find that because the path of growth is limitless, many biz babes are constantly aspiring to reach greater heights. And when they don’t hit them, or their path to reaching them isn’t linear? They take these ‘failings’ as a personal affront and a reflection of their worth as humans.
It makes me sad.
I’ve sat with so many clients, and so many biz friends, through their tears. And vice versa (well, not my clients because #unprofesh - haha - but my friends have definitely worn the brunt of it!)
Most of us start businesses because we aspire to feel free, joyful, creative, inspired, lit up, in control of our destiny …
But we often feel overwhelmed, ‘less than’, disappointed in ourselves, pressured, stressed and scared.
And do you know what the saddest part of all this is?
It’s mostly self-inflicted. #truth.
I hope this conversation inspires you to look at your biz through a lovingly objective lens, and helps you assess your very own relationship with success and growth.
We’re in this for the long haul honey, so we gots-ta look after ourselves, yo!
Let’s jump right in and get clear on WHAT I MEAN WHEN I REFER TO GROWING YOUR BIZ WITH GRACE...
I mean taking your business to the next level, with your mental and emotional health intact.
With your values leading the way.
With a deep connection to your own inner wisdom and truth (rather than an adherence to socially normative indicators of ‘success’ that you’ve unconsciously adopted as your own).
In complete transparency, I’m a bit scarred by the experiences I’ve had and witnessed with biz growth ...
My very own unaware chasing of more (money/clients/sign ups/’success’)
Investing in online programs and having the facilitators energy, attention and commitment go somewhat AWOL because they’re in a period of growth and off promoting other offerings and nurturing other containers
Experiencing robotic and stock-standard communications from what were once connection-human-centric brands
Content turning very ‘strategic-y’ and lacking feeling, heart and soul
This constant pursuit for more, a lack of celebration of what is, and a feeling like nothing is ever enough
Seeing women who are SUPER successful on paper, struggling to hold themselves together behind the scenes.
Yep, I’ve seen (and done!) a lot of ungraceful growth.
CHE, YOU SOUND LIKE YOU’RE ANTI GROWTH!?
Haha, I know. Like I told you, I’m scarred.
But I’m not anti-growth ...
I want my fellow babes in biz to have ALL the money and clients and opportunities and experiences in the world - just not at the expense of what’s important to them (their health, their values, their connection with their community, their mission).
But sadly, what I see time and time again, is people losing themselves, and disconnecting from the things they once considered important, while they’re on this journey of growth pursuit.
LET’S EXPLORE THE CONCEPT OF ‘SUCCESS’. I MEAN, WTF EVEN IS ‘SUCCESS’?
Regardless of what kind of biz you run, it’s safe to say that at the beginning of our entrepreneurial journeys we all set out with the same goal in mind - to succeed.
But what I sit here pondering, a number of years into my own biz journey is this …
WTF even is success?
AND
How in-tune are women with their own definitions of success?
The issue I see is that many women are working towards a very outdated patriarchal definition of success (more on this to come) that typically = more visibility, more likes/subscribers/followers, more hours, more team members and more money.
Am I saying that growing your biz in this way, and striving for ‘more’ in this way, is a bad thing?
No, I’m not BUT (haha, surely you knew there was going to be a but) I do often find myself wondering if women are chasing these ‘carrots’ because they’re truly aligned with their own definition of success OR because they have been brainwashed to believe that this is what success looks like. Ya know?!
OH, PATRIARCHY
While women-led businesses are on the rise and so many are absolutely freakin’ killing it, you’re a fool if you think that the patriarchy, and its influence over the way we work, has been laid to rest.
It certainly has not.
Sure, we can label our striving, long hours and goal setting with hashtags of #bossbabe and #empoweredwoman, but I see many businesses ‘success’ coming at the expense of their Founders’ wellbeing.
This my friend is the patriarchy at play - the sh!tty paradigm that tells us that our worth can be found in constant growth, higher revenue and the gaining of ‘moreness’.
I don’t believe that any of us, in our generation, are immune to the influence of the patriarchy (I mean, unless you’re choosing to live completely offline and off the grid?!) After all, most of us have spent many years of our lives working in a ‘normal’ job that subscribes to this patriarchal way of achieving (like skipping lunch in the name of productivity, getting to the office early and constantly aiming to hit targets). And if we haven’t, many of us have witnessed our parents abiding by these patriarchal rules in some way, shape or form.
The great news is that so many of us are waking up to a new way of working (not just working, LIVING - because I truly believe that how we do work is how we do life).
Days off while we bleed …
Play breaks when our creativity isn’t flowing …
Valuing rest, just as much as we value outputs and ticked lists …
Reduced hours ...
Outsourcing tasks that don’t light us up …
Saying no to work practices and strategies that don’t resonate with us ...
These are the kinds of things that are getting more and more air time as biz babes are waking up and getting more intentional about how they want to show up to their work.
THE KEY TO GRACEFUL GROWTH (IN MY PERSONAL OPINION).
I have a belief that like everything in life, the key to growing your biz gracefully is to ...
Know yourself intimately, from the inside out.
When we have this level of intimacy with ourselves, we have the ability to make decisions that are right for us, not just blindly follow the leader.
... We are clear on our values
… We know what we love to do and want to do more of (for example, continuing to do 1:1 work with clients, even though the ‘experts’ tell us that in order to scale we have to run a group programs - vomit)
… We are connected with our bodies and how doing certain things makes us feel
… We know what success means to US (for example, success to me = working part time, having lots of white space and freedom to pursue my outside-of-work interests, only saying ‘YUUUS’ to projects that excite and inspire me and having the time and space to give my clients lots of 1:1 attention and nurturing).
Sadly, many of us get so caught up in the busy-ness of life and the noise of the internet that we find it increasingly hard to know ourselves, and to be able to actually hear the whispers of our souls.
Even the most well intentioned of us (like myself!) often find that without daily devotion, our commitment to doing things that support our self intimacy can waver.
I know this is a lot, and that my rambles are a little disjointed and all over the place (this topic is HUGE!), but here’s what I invite you to do from here ...
Be with yourself.
Get quiet.
Go in.
Create the stillness your intuition needs, in order for you to hear it speak to you.
Running a biz at full throttle from the seat of the mind is easy (albeit, very stressful and not sustainable). It’s running a biz with intentionality and from the heart that’s hard. It’s slowing down, that’s hard. It’s trusting that the less-worn path of the feminine will lead you to a place of success and abundance, that’s hard.
But we have a choice, honey. In every second of every day we have a choice to either run on auto-pilot, or to pave our own path and prioritise staying deeply connected to ourselves, so that we can run and grow our businesses with grace.
Craving some prompts to dive deeper into this topic? Here ya go ...
What does success look and feel like for you? (Forget what anyone else thinks!)
Where do you put unnecessary pressure on yourself? Where is the patriarchy still alive and kicking in your biz?
What are your key values, and what do you need to do to keep them alive during the next iteration of your business’s growth?
What do the ‘experts’ tell you you need to do to be ‘successful’ that deep down, in your heart of hearts, you know you just don’t want to do?
What feels like the perfect next step, for you?
Celebrating the heck out of you, you epic creature.
Know that I am cheering you on, and am in full support of you RISING in your biz a way that lights you to *F* up and nurtures your mind, body, spirit AND bank account!
May your growth be graceful,